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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?